Ludus is Latin for game, school, sport. 🏀⚽️🏈🤼♀️ Three things that are better suited for young people. Ludus love is defined as playful or uncommitted love with no strings attached, in other words, having friends with benefits.
Now, I must admit…I have had my share of uncommitted love relationships. Unlike many of my friends who were thumbing through Brides Magazine at age eighteen, I was ordering subscriptions to Essence. Those sistas in Essence appeared to have it all together…career, fun and fashion! I, too wanted to have it all!
I had it going on when I was in my twenties. I made my own 💲money, paid my own rent and came and went as I pleased…and I had friends…with and without benefits…I made the rules.
That might sound like an exciting lifestyle to some, and for a long time it was. But that type of lifestyle also has a downside.
You see, there was this one man. Yes, there’s always that one person! Although we had a special bond, we agreed to keep it light. So for years, that’s what we did. Until one day out of the blue, I learned of his plans to marry…someone else! I was crushed! It was in that moment I realized that Ludus love was not what I wanted…at least not with him. So, I followed the advice of the Isley Brothers.
They penned these words in a song:
Don't be angry, don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' over good times you had💔
There's a girl (boy), right next to you
And s/he's just waiting for something to do…
If you can’t be with the one you love,
Love the one you’re with ❤️
Since I could not be with the one I loved,I made the decision to love the one I was with. Well, that may have worked for a while but now that I am older, I’ve come to realize that the problem with this type of relationship is that by the time you’re ready to settle down, all the men are already married! LOL
Since I have been enlightened, allow me to share a piece of advice. You don’t have to play games when it comes to romance. If a committed relationship is what you want don’t settle for anything less. You have power…use it. Tell your partner what you want in no uncertain terms. If they can’t deal with it…deuces✌🏾…on to the next one! You can still have friends...just not the benefits.
Bottom line…be true to yourself! (But don’t hurt nobody!) and try not to let them hurt you!